Tiger Woods and Obama Jokes:
What with Lewis Hamilton winning the F1 world championship, Barack Obama being president of the USA, Will Smith being the world’s highest paid actor and Tiger Woods being the world’s best golfer, it has never been cooler to be black.
Poor old Michael Jackson must be kicking himself.
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Tiger Woods Jokes:
It’s true that sometimes your name matches what you do.
Stephen Ireland – Played football for Ireland.
Jason Scotland – Played football in Scotland.
Scott Speed – NASCAR driver.
Tiger Woods – Golfer.
Cardinal Sin – Filipino archbishop of Manilla.
Usain Bolt – Fastest person in the world.
God only knows what I’ll do.
What does the future hold for Pete O’ Fyle?
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Just bought a wicked game for the XBox. Its about a nigger who drives round shagging whores, using violence involving metal bars, crashing his car and evading police.
It’s called Tiger Woods PGA Tour 09.
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Tiger Woods has admitted to cheating.
I’ve got news for you Tiger, we already knew that, it was a blatant handball.
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A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, “I have a confession to make, I’m not a virgin.”
The husband replies, “That’s no big thing in this day and age.”
The wife continues, “Yeah, I’ve been with one guy.”
“Oh yeah? Who was the guy?”
Tiger Woods.
“Tiger Woods, the golfer?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, he’s rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed with him.”
The husband and wife then make passionate love.
When they are done, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone.
“What are you doing?” asks the wife.
The husband says, “I’m hungry, I was going to call room service and get something to eat.”
“Tiger wouldn’t do that.”
“Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?”
“He’d come back to bed and do it a second time.”
The husband puts down the phone and goes back to bed to make love a second time.
When they finish, he gets up and goes over to the phone. “Now what are you doing?” she asks.
the husband says, “I’m still hungry so I was going to get room service to get something to eat.”
“Tiger wouldn’t do that.”
“Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?”
“He’d come back to bed and do it again.”
The guy slams down the phone, goes back to bed, and makes love one more time.
When they finish he’s tired and beat. He drags himself over to he phone and starts to dial.
The wife asks, “Are you calling room service?”
“No, I’m calling Tiger Woods, to find out what the par is for this damn hole.”
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After crashing his car into a tree and fire hydrant, Tiger Woods has now came out and said “Crash was my fault”.
Thanks so much for clearing that up, I was under the impression that it was the trees fault.
Stupid Cunt.
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