sickipedia jokes:

Arnold Schwarzenegger Jokes:

Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he wanted to upgrade to windows 7?

He replied “I still love Vista, baby.”

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My wife just left me for Arnold Schwarzenegger.

She’ll be back.

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It’s been alleged that Arnold Schwarzenegger has at least two more secret love children. This was inevitable.

How on earth can a sex-mad Austrian possibly keep all his love children secret?

Oh, wait a minute…

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I went into a library dressed as a German classical composer and asked for a book on Austrian actors.

The librarian said, “Aisle B, Bach.”

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Unfortunately, Arnold Schwarzenegger could never be president of America because he is not American.

Well… We all know what happened last time an Austrian took over a foreign country…

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The former governor of California has admitted that he cheated on his wife, fathered a child and never told her or helped to bring the kid up.

Typical negger.

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Arnold Schwarzenegger was upset that his mum never got him any Easter eggs.

She said, “I thought that you didn’t like Easter anymore!”

Arnie replied, “I still love Easter baby!”

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I recently found out that Arnold Schwarzenegger is the governor of California.

I thought that was really clever of the American: I mean, when has giving an Austrian power ever gone wrong?

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BBC News: Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver separate.

Maria Shriver”s lawyer was quoted as saying: “I want your clothes, your boots and your motorcycle.”

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So, Arnold Schwarzenegger is no longer Governor of California.

I can’t help but feel he’ll be back.

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Amy Winehouse Jokes:

At least now Amy Winehouse can do her lines off the most shiny surface know to man.

Jade Goody’s head.

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Jennifer Lopez Jokes:

They say Jennifer Lopez is sexy because she’s got a big arse. Well in that case, my girlfriend is at least twice as sexy as her.

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My missus caught me wanking over Jennifer Lopez and went mad.

“What do you even see in her? If you strip away her breasts, her arse and her beautiful face, what would you have left???”

I gritted my teeth and said under my breath, “you.”

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Marc Anthony said the worst part about splitting up with Jennifer Lopez was leaving her behind.

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Did you know J. Lo has her bum insured for $8,000,000!

does that cover contents?

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It’s difficult to know what Jennifer Lopez is more famous for. Her acting, her singing or her ass, but one thing is for sure, all three stink of fucking shit…

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Justin Bieber Jokes:

Just asked my barber for a Justin Bieber haircut.

Fucking twat just shaved my pubes off.

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My daughter has Justin Bieber fever.

Or, as it’s medically known, Down’s syndrome.

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What’s the difference between Rob Green and Justin Bieber?

Rob Green knows how to drop his balls.

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Justin Bieber’s new album ‘My World 2.0′ came out last week.

Also coming out: Any males who buy it.

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Apparently Justin Bieber wants a BMW for his birthday,

or Usher dick as it is more commonly known as.

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My girlfriend says she is leaving me because I’m an irritating talentless child-like worthless cunt.

And I was like

Baby, baby, baby ooh

Like baby, baby, baby noo

Like baby, baby, baby ooh

Thought you’d always be mine.

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Justin Bieber has said, “I feel like the Kurt Cobain of my generation, but people just don’t understand me.”

By a curious co-incidence, Kurt Cobain, contacted in a seance, said, “I felt like the Justin Bieber of my generation, so I killed myself.”

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So the new Justin Bieber movie is rated a 12.

That’s gonna be embarrassing, not getting into your own film.

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Apparently Justin Bieber hit a 12 year old kid.

That’s the closest he’ll ever get to hitting puberty.

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Lady Gaga Jokes:

Lady Gaga should just lend Justin Bieber her balls…

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Lady Gaga has said that killing animals for meat and clothes is wrong, and that she wore the meat dress to symbolize that.

I think she makes a terrific point and, using that logic, I’m going to go and beat the shit out of some black people to promote anti-racism.

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BBC News: Lady Gaga dropping Facebook for charity.

She should also think about dropping her knickers, for clarity.

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Dermot O’ Leary asked Lady Gaga after her performance, “Have you got any advice for the guys backstage?”

“Just be yourself,” says Lady Gaga, lying in a giant bath, partially dressed as a transformer, with horns sticking out of her head.

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I just read that Gordon Brown was crowned this year’s ‘Worst Dressed Men.’

Lady Gaga must be devastated.

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In today’s Sun, Lady Gaga admits to “liking girls.”

Well, at least he’s not a poof.

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What have number 10 Downing Street and Lady Gaga’s pants got in common?

There shouldn’t be a cock inside, but there is.

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All these jokes calling Lady Gaga’s gender into question are really immature. How childish to think “he’s got long hair, he must be a girl.”

Grow up.

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Lady Gaga says giving birth is the most painful experience a woman could have.

How the fuck would he know?

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Bomb disposal experts last night had to evacuate Lady Gaga’s concert due to a suspicious package on stage.

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