Yesterday my mom asked me to hand out invitation for my brother’s surprise birthday party.
That’s when I realised he was the favorite twin.
——
Local girl Joanna Mow leaps to her death on her birthday…
Your middle name wouldn’t be Ronny would it Jo?
—–
Is it just me or do an abnormally large amount of girls make their first porno on their 18th birthday?
—–
According to Microsoft’s new advertising campaign, Internet Explorer 8 has an ‘In private’ browsing option, so that if you were buying a present for your wife, she won’t find out.
yeah, because I’m worried about her seeing the Iron I’m getting her for her birthday, not the child porn.
—–
There once was a little boy who was celebrating his 11th birthday. He decided to test his family to see if they remembered his birthday? So he goes downstairs to his father.
“Bet cha’ can’t guess how old I’m today?” the boy asked.
The father has no clue and finally gives up.
“I’m eleven!” the boy exclaims.
next goes in the kitchen the kitchen, walks up to his grandma, and says, “Bet cha’ can’t guess how old I am today?
“Let me give it a guess.” Grandma says and sticks her hand in his trousers.
She plays with his testicles for a while, squeezing them, moving them back and forth, takes her hand out of his trousers, and says,”you’re eleven years old.”
“How did you know!?” the boy asked.
Grandma replied, “I heard you tell your father.” 
——
Seriously worried about my birthday in a few years time.
Apparently at 40 there’s an 80% chance I’ll kill a child.
—–
When I was a kid my dad told me “I’m fucking sick of getting socks for my birthday!”
“You ungrateful cunt!” I replied. “It’s the thought that counts!”
I could tell from the look in his eyes he’d have kicked my head in if he had legs.
—–
I thought I hadn’t been paying my wife much attention recently so, as it was her birthday on Friday, I decided I would give her a ring as a present.
Amazingly, that started another row.
Because I rang her from the pub.
—–
Recent Comments